pt 2

 It was 2 weeks before our first anniversary, my cousin had come to spend the night with me. I remember us all being in the livingroom watching movies and my husband had fixed us some drinks and I had ended up falling asleep before the movie even finished I usually stay up late but that night by 10 pm I couldn't keep my eyes open and I told them I was going to go on to bed cause I was just too tired to stay up. 

I passed out as soon as I hit the bed which was very unusual for me. I get woke up to the sound of my cousins voice telling my husband no and to stop. It's like it shook me out of a deep sleep and I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if something was going on, So I laid there and kept hearing them talk but couldn't understand what was being said so I quietly walk to the top of the stairs to listen see If I can find out what they're talking about and he was begging her to have sex with him and she would tell him no leave me alone Desiree is right upstairs I will tell her. So eventually he gave up and I heard him say he was going to bed So I ran back to bed and laid there acting like I was still asleep and he then started kissin on me and rubbing on me and I pushed him away not letting him know I heard him but instead I told him I wasn't feeling good that I was sick to my stomach and I needed to take a hot bath to see if it would make me feel better.

I got myself in the bath and laid there thinking what should I do? I didn't know if I should confront him because I knew it would be an ugly fight and he would blame me and throw one of his temper tantrums and I didn't want to deal with that, I was shocked because it was just a week before our first anniversary how could the man I married want to have sex with my own cousin in our house while his wife was in bed? I didn't understand at all.

I got out and got dressed and went downstairs to talk to my cousin and she takes me to the bathroom to tell me what happened and I told her I know I heard it all so she decided I grab a few things, my son and she would take me to my parents house.. so here it is 2-3am and I am having to leave my own home because my husband couldn't control himself.

The next day he calls me and asked why i left and I told him what I heard and he lied and told me it never happened that my cousin was lying and i had to keep telling him that I had heard everything that it had woken me up and he still tried to deny it and say it was my cousin trying to sleep with him and so i just hung up the phone.. I was devastated & didn't know what to even do with myself..

I spent that summer with my parents, he would come to visit and apologize over and over.. We would go on dates and he would take me shopping so I ended up forgiving him and going back home but nothing changed as soon as I was comfortable at home the tantrums started again, the seclusion I wasn't allowed to have anyone come over to visit or he would make them feel uncomfortable and they would leave. I even got to where I hated going to eat with him because he couldn't keep his eyes to himself I would be talking to him and he wouldn't be paying attention to anything I was saying or even look at me he was too busy eyeing every girl in the restaurant. I only said something once and it caused a big fight so I never said anything again because I hated to fight with him and he would take it out on our son too so I was the quiet wife that just let things happen and kept my mouth shut..