pt 3

I am skipping ahead here a little because from 1999-2006 My life was pretty much the same story.  I was a stay at home mom and everyday my life was on repeat. I lost friends, didn't have much family that I visited unless my husband was with me. If I did have lunch dates with friends or even my mom I got asked 100 questions and it would drive me insane and just cause arguments so I got to the point I didn't even like to leave the house because I knew what the outcome would be. 

In 2002 we were living with my parents again and one morning I was getting my son ready for school, he was complaining that the shirt he had on was too tight around his shoulders and neck and he didn't want to wear it. we were already running late so I was telling him to hurry and change, my husband was already getting ill at that time and was telling my son to just wear the shirt he would be okay then my son started crying because it was so tight and he knew he was uncomfortable (he was only 5) So my husband takes the shirt and just jerks it off his head, really rough and it left a red mark on my sons neck so I didn't want him to go to school with marks on him, crying being so upset but my husband made him go anyways. I was scared wondering if  my parents had heard any of it because they would have flipped out and it would have been a huge argument with them and my husband... Anyways I made the decision that morning that I was done I had enough of the abuse and his lusting eyes and flirts I just wanted to be done. I as miserable and so unhappy and was definitely tired of faking it just to get by.. 

so anyways as i mentioned I was done I was ready to talk to my parents and tell them everything and make him leave I just wanted my son to be protected because I knew after all these years nothing was going to change., I can't really remember the reason I decided to go take a pregnancy test but I got ready, went to town got the test and sure enough it was positive. That changed everything...

My husband wasn't there when our first child was born so I thought this might change him. To actually get to be there for me while I was pregnant and then get to see one of his kids being born. So I held onto my hopes and dreams again that everything would change and be different. At least with me being pregnant we didn't fight but we did still argue quite often but he wasn't as bad as he had been throughout the years,

(okay I have pt 4 already written and it goes along with this so I will wrap this page up and continue there)