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pt 4

 After our second child was born I had to have surgery, they had thought I had breast cancer all the test and bloodwork showed cancer. I was so young and my Dr. sent me for surgery within a few days after he had examined me and done his test, and we were scared but my mom had gotten a preacher come pray with me right before my surgery and once it was over they told us I didn't have cancer there was nothing there.  That lead to our church journey.. We had joined a church and even became youth leaders at church, all the teens loved us and always wanted to be with me and my husband every time we were at church. We loved it, we loved helping the youth and being a part of a  church where everyone was close.  Eventually my husband started back with his abuse, calling me names, being mean and hateful all the time, we moved in with my parents and when they weren't around he would be so mean to me.. We got a call from the youth pastor and said one of the guys(Joe) had been arrested from
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pt 3

I am skipping ahead here a little because from 1999-2006 My life was pretty much the same story.  I was a stay at home mom and everyday my life was on repeat. I lost friends, didn't have much family that I visited unless my husband was with me. If I did have lunch dates with friends or even my mom I got asked 100 questions and it would drive me insane and just cause arguments so I got to the point I didn't even like to leave the house because I knew what the outcome would be.  In 2002 we were living with my parents again and one morning I was getting my son ready for school, he was complaining that the shirt he had on was too tight around his shoulders and neck and he didn't want to wear it. we were already running late so I was telling him to hurry and change, my husband was already getting ill at that time and was telling my son to just wear the shirt he would be okay then my son started crying because it was so tight and he knew he was uncomfortable (he was only 5) So my
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pt 2

 It was 2 weeks before our first anniversary, my cousin had come to spend the night with me. I remember us all being in the livingroom watching movies and my husband had fixed us some drinks and I had ended up falling asleep before the movie even finished I usually stay up late but that night by 10 pm I couldn't keep my eyes open and I told them I was going to go on to bed cause I was just too tired to stay up.  I passed out as soon as I hit the bed which was very unusual for me. I get woke up to the sound of my cousins voice telling my husband no and to stop. It's like it shook me out of a deep sleep and I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if something was going on, So I laid there and kept hearing them talk but couldn't understand what was being said so I quietly walk to the top of the stairs to listen see If I can find out what they're talking about and he was begging her to have sex with him and she would tell him no leave me alone Desiree is right upstairs I wil
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  How  does one begin to tell their story? As you read this just know I am putting every emotion into this story just as I have in real life.. The feelings are still  raw, deep, and real. I am even scared to start this story as I have to go back to memories I don't want to mess with. Memories I had locked away and never wanted to resurface again, but here we are & maybe this will help me to heal.  As you read this blog please keep in mind that I mainly am doing this for myself, I have thought about doing this for awhile and just never knew how to go about getting started I am not really good at spelling, grammar and all that stuff that I am sure you all will complain about but I am keeping this as real as I am.. I am just a down home country girl that quit school in 10th grade and I am not perfect so I don't feel like my blog has to be but feel free to stop reading at any time you can't handle my mistakes because I am sure I will make a few while writing this     as
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